guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
