She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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