I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
