ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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