i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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