So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
