im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
