Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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