i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
