Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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