Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.