I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
