yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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