Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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