Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i black out too much to be "responsible"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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