As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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