dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
