is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
