I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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