She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
