I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
