he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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