she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Don't make out with my wife yet
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
