WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
