we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
