just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
