**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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