he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
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Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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