Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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