so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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