I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
