I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just forgot I was standing up.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
