420 ftw
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
