Sry I called you an 8
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
All I want is dick and wine.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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