smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
