There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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