god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
