I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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