That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
