It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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