NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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