dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize