I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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