it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
