its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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