god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize