I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
