The brown eye won't let me do that either.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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