I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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