i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
