Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize