we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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