She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
