I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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