Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
