Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
