some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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