My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
