his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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