Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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