I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
